More the Same

I have had the pleasure over the past year, and numerous times before, to work with many diverse groups.  When I say diverse, I mean that our paths to being in those rooms and places together could not be more different.

We have usually been of different ages, genders, socioeconomic status, color, nationality, religion, dietary preference, sexual identity, regional affiliation, educational level, political party, etc., etc., etc. 

In these settings we sometimes feel uncomfortable or awkward with each other until we start to find some common ground.  There are many ways this occurs and often it takes focus or activities to make it happen.  But when we do start to find common ground, we are often surprised.

We find, for example, that we can speak similar languages, and maybe not our native languages.  We see that there are hobbies and interest we share.  Understanding of our similar challenges in childhood or adulthood, or whenever begin to appear.  And so on.

I have been lucky to travel to many places.  As a result of that I have learned that we all are way more similar to each other than we are different.  I share this thought with every diverse group (which is every group) I work with.  It comes true every time when we take a minute to look and listen and hear.

Our basic needs of course are the same physical needs of shelter and sustenance.  But our more advanced necessities are as well.  We all want to find communities of caring.  We want to be valued and be valuable.  We want to contribute to our own success and progress.  We want freedom.

Often, I find we look for the little differences in each other and we escalate them and inflate them.   We spend so much time in the space of difference that we are blinded to our common challenges and needs.  We have a far greater capacity to help each other in the common pursuits if we just step back and see the bigger picture.

I try to remind every group I work with of this as we do our work, whatever it might be.  It always happens that people discover more common ground than they anticipated.  We spend time in that common ground, but I cannot direct that after they leave our sessions. 

I hope they remember that by asking and looking more deeply at each other, we can ALWAYS find our similarities to share, and navigate forward together, around our differences.